February22013

Compilation post: because privilege means we allistics need help not sucking.

[Warnings: I’ve tried to make sure that allistic voices are at an absolute minimum in this, because, as I said, we need help not sucking. However, considering that I am allistic and I put this together, I am obviously unable to remove my presence in picking and choosing what’s here.

There is a huge variety of things that discussed in the links below, including but not limited to unwarned for slurs (particularly ableist slurs), unwarned for other commonly triggering things, and privilege across several axises discussed by people who might be privileged on those axises. 

Also, an explanation of why about a huge majority of this is from one blog and thus one perspective and a lot of it is old (and thus somewhat old):

The blog in question is not that long and has a large percentage of original, autism-related posts. Furthermore, the owner of the blog has left Tumblr, and thus probably won’t be changing his URL or delete the blog which would break all the links and remove some content from The Accessible Part Of The Internet. This also means there’s fewer people randomly getting a bunch of notifications from anyone just now seeing this stuff. (Also, messaging him angrily or confusedly won’t do you any good-he’s not going to see it. :D )

This absolutely influences the compilation post, for which I’m very sorry. If you’ve got anything to add, I’d be more than happy to add it.

Finally, if any of the links are broken, tell me and I will do my best to fix them.]

Parts:

  1. Autism 101
  2. Privilege 101
  3. Autistics Talking About Facets Of Autism
  4. Advice For Allistics In Relationships (not limited to romantic) With Autistics
  5. Allistic Privilege
  6. Required Reading For Allistics In The Sherlock Fandom

1. Autism 101

Or, Hopefully You Hopefully Knew This Already Part 1

Extremely basic definitions for autism and Asperger’s Syndrome.

Goldenheartedrose’s Autism 101 page

Goldenheartedrose’s autism resources

Spoon Theory While it’s listed in the link above, I’m making this a separate one because I consider this required reading regarding any chronic illness or disability.

2. Privilege 101

Or, Hopefully You Knew This Already Part 2

Definitions for concepts

Important point about trying to relate your privileged experience to unprivileged people’s experience from this mostly personal post: “Relating yours to mine is not empathy, it’s discrediting my difference”

Checking one’s privilege is good

Privileged allies don’t get cookies

Why complaining that an oppressed group came up with labels for oppressors is bad

3. Autistics Talking About Facets Of Autism

Or, Hopefully Hearing This Will Help You Empathize And/Or Understand Better:

Autism as an identity

Autism as a way of being

Prosopagnosia

Going nonverbal

Lack of proprioception

Sensory stuff

Specialized interests

Interaction with allistics/other social stuff

4. Advice For Allistics In Relationships (not limited to romantic) With Autistics

Or, Do Do This 

Guide To Dating Someone Who Hates Themselves Which is not to say that I assume that all autistics must hate themselves, but that I consider this required reading for everyone ever who wants to have any type of relationship with anyone else ever, because it’s just that important.

General advice

Recognizing an autistic’s expressions of appreciation and affection

The cut means that this isn’t recoverable, but the basic summary (as I remember it) is that you, The Allistic, need to be specific, genuine, and outright about communicating/hanging out (because autistcs tend to be burned by allistics and often build up justified defenses against cruelty), if you want to schedule something make sure your partner has a fair warning ahead of time (ask your partner what hir specific needs as far as ‘fair warning’ are), and consider hir needs when planning things (ex: if crowds are overwhelming, don’t ask hir to go to a concert or something).

Accepting (or even celebrating) neurodivergency in a relationship

Explaining as opposed to excusing bad or ‘bad by allistic standards’ behavior

Responding to info dumping

Helping with meltdowns

5. Allistic Privilege

Or, Don’t Do This

Defining allistic privilege

Ableist slurs suck

Example of gaslighting as applied to allistic privilege

Shit allistics say to autistics

Just don’t do this. Ever. The entire thing. No. This should have enraged you by the end of the first paragraph, if not by the end of the headline itself.

Further reading: Allisticntprivilege, suggested by Yesthattoo; all mods are autistic.

6. Miscellaneous

Because Categorizing Is Hard

The Slumber Of Feelings masterpost

"So You Want To Work With Autistic Kids" A Primer

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