missingagloe:

bunnika:

TW: Domestic violence, spousal and abuse, gun violence

quickhits:

You can stop pretending that guns protect women now.

New York Times:

Early last year, after a series of frightening encounters with her former husband, Stephanie Holten went to court in Spokane, Wash., to obtain a temporary order for protection.

Her former husband, Corey Holten, threatened to put a gun in her mouth and pull the trigger, she wrote in her petition. He also said he would “put a cap” in her if her new boyfriend “gets near my kids.” In neat block letters she wrote, “ He owns guns, I am scared.”

The judge’s order prohibited Mr. Holten from going within two blocks of his former wife’s home and imposed a number of other restrictions. What it did not require him to do was surrender his guns.

About 12 hours after he was served with the order, Mr. Holten was lying in wait when his former wife returned home from a date with their two children in tow. Armed with a small semiautomatic rifle bought several months before, he stepped out of his car and thrust the muzzle into her chest. He directed her inside the house, yelling that he was going to kill her.

What saved Holten was not another gun, but a phone. She dial 911, then hid the phone. “The dispatcher heard Ms. Holten begging for her life and quickly directed officers to the scene,” the report tells us.

“For all its rage and terror, the episode might well have been prevented,” NYT goes on. “Had Mr. Holten lived in one of a handful of states, the protection order would have forced him to relinquish his firearms. But that is not the case in Washington and most of the country, in large part because of the influence of the National Rifle Association and its allies.”

I know that the insane and the NRA (I realize I’m being redundant) would argue that Stephanie Holten would’ve been better off had she been armed too. But exchanging gunfire with a lunatic does not guarantee success. And since her kids were present, tragedy would be all that more likely. Gun fanatics live in a fantasy world, informed by action movies, where the “good guy” always comes out on top. But in the real world, criminals aren’t automatically incompetent. Justice is a human construct, not a law of physics. In a gun v. gun confrontation, either party can lose. This is why people with guns are more likely to be shot — if I’m a criminal and someone pulls a gun on me, they’re my primary target. And of course, belief in the “good guys always win” theory promoted by the NRA causes people to take stupid risks.

The fact is that there are people who should not have guns. More guns is not the answer here, fewer guns obviously are. There are situations — and this is one — where meeting the NRA’s definition of “pro-gun” is in reality just pro-crime. Cory Holton is obviously scum. He can live without his guns.

And his ex-wife and kids would stand a better chance of living as well. A woman’s chance of being killed by an abuser increases by 700% if he has access to a firearm. That’s just a fact. And it’s a fact the NRA doesn’t want you to know, because they want to be able to sell guns and ammo to criminals like Stephanie Holton’s stalking, abusive ex-husband.

I have lots of personal feelings on the subject, but I’ll just go with, “I agree,” and save the spoons.

Last year a woman in my town was shot to death by her ex husband who she had retraining orders against because he had threatened her with guns before.  

(via lupinswilly)

schizophrenic-psychopath:

nachtvogelfrei:

psychedelic-wanderer:

awkwardorable:

sonotaghostkid:

This is really not okay.

I think some people fail to realize that men can be sexually assaulted, too, and not just by other men. This girl shoves him against the wall and slaps him thee fucking times when he pushes her away. Heck, he has to push her away twice before she backs off for a moment. Then she goes right back to kissing him.

Gabbity is right—if the genders were reversed, everyone on this site would be flipping a shit. And if anyone dares to tell me that it’s different when a girl does it to a guy, I will personally write you a three-page essay on why it is still not okay.

^ I’m so happy to finally see a post like this.

this gif makes me so sad. he looks so confused and scared, especially after she hit his face the first time.

Reblogging until society gets its shit together.

(Source: visual-overdose, via aseofspades)

tripleness:

This is a Harry’s Dramatic Incompetence appreciation blog.

This is a Harry’s Awesome Ability to Fall Without Putting His Hands Down Behind Him Which Would Likely Have Broken His Wrist appreciation blog as well as a Ron’s Quick Thinking And Jump Over the Handle Rather Than Crushing His Crotch Or Stomach At Impact blog.

That’s my chessmaster, you guys. I haven’t seen him in a while. :)

And that’s my baby with a life’s worth of experience with falls and bullying flopping down next to him.

Though I am worried that he didn’t roll at his shoulder-his head collided with the concrete, or whatever the flooring is.

Though wizards *do* in fact seem to have a better tolerance for bumps and bruises than muggles do-there’s all this evidence of Harry getting beaten and having his glasses broken and his clothes screwed up by Dudley’s gang, but not of actual bruising and broken bones.

blindmadness:

Note to self: don’t draw at night. It’s time to sleep. You won’t make anything nice without a sleep.

*off to bed*

Loki: mouth shut by =Lady-Werewolf

(via toomanylokifeels)

knowledgeequalsblackpower:

historicalslut:

aim2misbehave:

stfuconservatives:

christiannightmares:

Catholics against proposed law that would force priests to report child sex abuse (To read the story, visit The Friendly Atheist)

War on Catholicism lol. Yeah god forbid (*snrk*) the Catholic Church be held accountable for… well, anything.

Also, ”cresting”? I don’t think that’s the word you meant to use, cresting means you’ve reached or are reaching the top. It’s like approaching the zenith. Unless you actually believe that this act will be the worst thing waged against Catholicism and it’s all downhill from here. “Continues” or “is growing exponentially” would be more appropriate for the lie you’re trying to push. So y’know, protip.

-Joe

Mandated reporting laws extending to religious institutions? Oh, the horror.

Seriously, though, we’ve had mandated reporting laws extended to church childcare workers and religious summer camp staff and I’ve never heard anyone say a word complaining about it, even though I’ve run in some pretty conservative circles.

You would think in 2012 the catholic church would remove its head from its ass but guess not.

So, the Catholic church is a victim because the abuse must be reported?
Wtf?

(via foxtalbotnegatives-deactivated2)

goldenphoenixgirl:

EVERYONE needs to know this. This is how nearly all abusive relationships play out, nearly all of the time. It’s very, very common and very important. 

Bear in mind that “violent outbursts” can also mean mental/verbal abuse, shoving or holding someone down, throwing things at the person or threats.

Usually, this cycle worsens and worsens throughout the relationship. The violent episodes last longer and longer and the honeymoon phase gets shorter or may disappear completely, leaving the relationship bouncing back and forth between tension and explosions. 

Please reblog if you think your readers could be helped by this?

(via think-thank-thunk)

goldenheartedrose:

TW: Forced pregnancy, marital rape, other forms of abuse and coercion

feministblackboard:

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.

The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.

Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types:
1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse.
2. Sabotaging birth control
3. Marital rape
Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.

The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.

The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.

One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.

WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?

Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately.

This is something that a lot of people don’t think about, but it happens quite often.  I have been a part of parenting communities online for the past 6 years, and unfortunately, these sorts of stories are not uncommon.  So yes, THIS is important. 

(Source: feminist-blackboard)